11 December 2013

Friendship

Friendship has been defined as a relationship which consists of mutual respect and admiration bound up in trust.

Finding this in this society could be just as easy as walking out in your yard and digging up a 5 carat diamond.

Some of our days seem like the best companion we could ever meet is loneliness.

And then there are those days that that one person says the right thing and empowers you to keep on pushing through the storm.

It takes time to learn how to deal with people and their little quirks. So we tend to seek solitude and lean inward in all group discussions and house parties; we become accustomed to being alone in a crowd of people. They seem strange because we see them as too adventurous and joyful. They are similar to those shrubs and little trees which pop up in the corners of backyards and are trimmed out of existence. They offer change which was not desired nor requested.

Friendship has to be the association of people who care for one another so deeply that they are not afraid to speak the truth to you and the mere thought of betraying them hurts you so much you refuse to cross that line.

I can tell you that for the longest time in my life, I was hugged up with distrust for those who were not like me. If they did not come from the same area or had not experienced similar failures in life; I did not want a thing to do with them. But there comes a time in all our days that we have to accept the calling of maturation and wisdom. My choice came three years ago. I am all the better for it.

Not to drudge up a story requiring three violins softly playing in the background, I don’t feel like the odd man out any longer when I am being engaged in this group of men. Trust for a man is a hard thing to develop. It becomes difficult when it has to be sustained at a high level.

Friendship has been defined as a fellowship of associates willing to give their last to keep the other alive and well.

Maintaining a strong level of trust requires each party willing to take on all criticism and then change after being hurt. This is called growing up. This is called becoming an adult.

As a boy, we are taught to become “Kings of the Hill” and then later in life, we want to become “Kings of our Castles.” The entire time we alienate those we are supposed to love because we are on a direct mission to conquer those people and things we desire to have as possessions. In the middle of all of this, somehow Christ stuck His Hands in the lives of the four guys you see in this blog and created a fellowship that is still growing and still using the members to teach each other and test the boundaries of love and hate.  Yes, I said love. We have gotten off of the macho horse and seek each other out to make sure each is still holding on and willing to love the people in their homes, not as possessions, but as the gifts God has blessed us with.

This is the catalyst that is cementing our friendships.

I think we are on equal ground.

That is just strange.

Normally when there are a group of friends, one is chosen the leader and the others follow. But in this group we all seek to push one another toward the example of Jesus and then squint to see if those same qualities are being developed in our personal walks.

It is evident that growth has taken place in this group. We bounce our daily decisions off of one another, fully expecting to be slammed if the quest doesn’t make sense or will not be profitable for the family in question.

Friendship has been defined as having unlimited bounds that each party accepts and is willing to move toward to keep the unit strong and viable.

I am no longer alone in a crowd of people.

I am amongst friends.


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11 comments:

  1. Nice blog! I have guess I have yet to gain the type of friendship you have defined in your blog. I feel alone in a crowd of people even family at times. I will use your blog to make sure I'm doing my part to gain and maintain a friendship.

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  2. Right on Melvin. You might even find a good measure of friendship right here if you throw yourself into discussion. Any idea what your road blocks might be?

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    1. My biggest road block in gaining a friendship or a decent relationship is probably my trust issues that I have, but I don't believe it's a big issue. I have not one problem admitting I am wrong once you can prove to me that I'm not right.

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  3. An enemy will stab you in the back when you say something stupid. A friend will smash you in the mouth, not because you have offended him, but to keep you from saying more stupid things. Friendship is not always easy and not without its friction. There are few people I would trust with my life or my wife outside my family. Usually these bonds were formed through a common experience of adversity. These are true friends and I cherish them.

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    1. The four of us have certainly come to realize that. Our friendship has grown because we push each other to become better. Sometimes, the result is an anger that burns; yet that anger always helps to push us foreword. Kevin and I often push each other the hardest, and as a result, and come to respect each other's perspectives and views so much more (even if we don't entirely agree). The greatest of friends cause each other to grow, and the only growth worth having often comes with some frustration, anger, and pain.

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    2. Dave

      I understand where you are coming from. I trust these guys to ride a stationary bicycle for 19 hours to keep the electricity flowing in the machine that is keeping my heart pumping blood. But.....I couldn't keep silent if they would punch me in the face

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  4. It's fun to debate with Matt and Kevin because they're both wrong all the time but in opposite directions. I can argue with both of them without agreeing with either of them.

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    1. Dan's version of debating is saying something like, "You guys are funny! Both of you are wrong!" It's really hard to argue with him… mainly because his arguments have no substance. ;-)

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    2. Whoa… Kevin and I agreed? You know Dan's absolutely wrong when Kevin and I agree.

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  5. No matter what we agree upon or disagree upon we still end the conversation on a positive note. We are also willing to treat each other with respect.

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